According to David Attenborough and various wildlife shows we’ve seen over the years, a giraffe’s favourite food is the foliage of the acacia tree, so we were slightly disturbed when we brought our giraffe back to the offices only to discover that he refused our offering of freshly gathered acacia branches. Fortunately, after a lot of hard work, we managed to figure out what our giraffe wanted to eat.
This was a very difficult and stressful period for us and as such I thought it would be a good idea to provide you with some advice on caring for a Hungry Giraffe.
What should you feed your giraffe?
While your local pet shop won’t tell you any of this, we found that our giraffe’s favourite food is a good old fashioned burger. Yes, our giraffe likes nothing more than to sink his teeth into a nice juicy quarter pounder.
He’s also very, very keen on tacos.
Actually, our giraffe will also happily consume sandwiches and chips too. And when none of these are available, he’ll happily tolerate apples and strawberries, although he generally prefers the richer stuff.
What else can you give your giraffe?
Giraffes are very playful animals and ours enjoys two toys in particular. His favourite is the Hard Hat that we bought him for his birthday. Putting on his hat makes him so incredibly excited that he undergoes a brief growth spurt making his neck grow even longer than it already is! Conveniently, it also protects him, allowing his head to burst through any obstacles.
Our giraffe also enjoy having fun with super hot chilli peppers. Incredibly, as the heat builds up in his stomach, hot steam jets up his long, thin neck, sending it shooting up even higher, blasting through anything and everything in its path!
What shouldn’t you feed your giraffe?
Despite the pleasures that owning a giraffe can bring, it’s worth noting they can be fussy and easily disturbed. Through painful experience we’ve found several things you should avoid doing to your giraffe.
Rather surprisingly, you should not drop anvils on your giraffe’s head. There’s nothing your giraffe likes more than to grow taller and taller in order to reach the tastiest of treats and nothing stops your giraffe’s upward trajectory like an anvil to the head. Yes folks, dropping anvils on your giraffe’s head will leave your pet depressed and listless.
You should also avoid giving your giraffe dumbbells to play with as, rather than exercising, your giraffe will try to eat them. And of course, eating heavy weights can be a real drag on any giraffe’s skyward journey.
As most giraffe lovers will know, giraffe’s are so large they qualify as megafauna. The average giraffe weighs in at 1200kg and so, as you can imagine, they can produce A LOT of vomit. And that’s why you should avoid feeding your giraffe poison. Unless, of course, you enjoy cleaning up small lakes of multicoloured giraffe spew, in which case knock yourself out.
It’s also worth noting here that, for some bizarre reason, certain vitamin pills that are perfectly safe for humans, act as a hallucinogenic when fed to a giraffe. And take it from me, you really, really don’t want a hallucinating 1200kg giraffe stumbling around next to you, so don’t give them any pills that have not been prescribed by a qualified vet.
Owning a giraffe is a huge responsibility so I hope this little guide has helped you in some small way. We will be sharing more important “need to know” tips on how to look after your Hungry Giraffe here on the Laughing Jackal blog next week, as well as on our Facebook, Twitter and brand new Google + account.
Finally, please remember that a giraffe is for life and not just for Christmas, so be sure to take good care of yours!
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